Buttahman: I’m Talkin To You!

Andrew Barber 0


I feel like I’ve asked this before, but how many people out there have the MTV Jams Network?

(…crickets…)

Well if not, I feel sorry for your mother (No O-Dogg). It’s probably the greatest thing that has happened to hip hop video enthusiasts since Youtube made it possible for you to click a button and watch Sadat X videos until your eyes hurt (okay, I’m exaggerating –maybe not that great – I’ve yet to see “Loud Hangover” in rotation on Jams), but it’s nice to be able to flip on the television and watch current and classic videos alike, 24 hours a day. Hell, sometimes you’ll even be lucky enough to catch a Wu-Tang or Too $hort video block.

The best news? MTV Jams doesn’t run commercials- just a few interstitials and promos here and there. If I was a betting man, I’d say this is due to Jams not being a rated network, thus making it hard to generate any ad revenue at this time. And with the way hip hop is selling these days; I find it highly doubtful that advertisers will want to attach themselves or their products to an all hip hop channel. Looks like the promos will keep rolling – which is good and bad, but I’ll get to that in a second.

The man behind this network, not to mention MTV’s director of music and talent, is a gentleman loosely known as Buttahman. For his actions and goodwill, I believe the government should cut Buttahman a massive check and give him an honorary afternoon. However, Buttaham, you’re not getting off that easy…

Two words: Hood Fab

Has anyone seen this faux gameshow? Basically, Buttahman walks the streets of a city [read: LA or NYC] looking for contestants [read: the dumbest people he can find] to match up against famous rappers in a hip hop trivia battle. And when I say trivia, I mean the biggest lay-up questions possible:

What West Coast rapper’s name rhymes with Oops Froggy Frog?

Of course, the rappers are usually victorious and take home the coveted prize: a pack of tube socks and a giftcard from Footlocker (Oh boy!)

Don’t even get me started on the ridiculous theme song, created by this fella, that sounds like the retarded lovechild of 50 Cent’s “P.I.M.P.” and TI’s “Rubberband Man”

Don’t believe me? Have a look at this Hood Fab (Hood Fab!) clip below featuring the man guilty of creating the grating theme song, and also the most obnoxious guest of all time – David Banner.

Buttahman, I challenge you to bring your Hood Fab game to the streets of Chicago and I’ll meet you anytime, anyplace (No Janet) and will defeat any rapper you pit me against. That’s a promise. I’m going for the gusto [read: tube socks and a Footlocker giftcard] in ’08.

Other suggestions: Why not bring back some VJ’s to host programs instead of just running blocks of videos where I might have to watch The Pack’s “In My Car” 86 times in one hour. I’d do it for free, as long as you let me promote Fake Shore Drive throughout the program (at DJ Khaled levels of annoyance).

Also, I have a programming director type of request…throw me a bone (pause) and run the Beatnuts “Props Over Here” once a week so the youngins can experience the greatness that was JuJu, Les and (sometimes) Fashion.

I’m not complaining, I’m just sayin…