Valet Attendant: “I took a sh*t in Lupe’s car”

Andrew Barber 0
Did someone take a shit in my car?

Another post “From the Depths of Fake” files, comes this gem from the iLLseed and Babel from the Rumors section over at Apparently, some guy named Babel, who is a Valet Attendant (or a guy that parks cars if you want to be a dick about it) at some “downtown spot in T.Dot”, claims he didn’t like the $1 tip that Lupe left him, so he took a man-deuce in his backseat. Ouch!

As the story goes:

Ayo, allhiphop readers, whaddup, it’s your boy Babel from Canada! Let me hit chu up wit some knowledge that I heard that’s straight ridonkulous, doggie. I was up working Valet at the spot in the downtown T. Dot and guess who f***ing shows up in a weak ass rental drop?
That’s right, the rhyme-forgetter, Wasalu Jaco a.k.a. Lupe Fiasco’s The Cool. Son gets out of the whip on the passengers side (he’s rollin’ with two hommies and a dime piece like I aint never seene befor). Anyways he comes around the whip real celebritard like and he gets up in my grill, looks at my nametag and he’s all: “Ayo, Babel, you park this car real extra nice for me, don’t forget you represents Madison Ave”, so I say “Yo n***a, i parks every car wit the same amount of care. Don’t matter if you 50 Cents or Kriss Angel”… So the man takes out a dollar bill crumples it up, throws it on the ground and says “There’s yo tip my N*g”.
First of all I thought the boy was on sum Allah shit like not saying n***a and whatnot. Second, i ‘m like “Ayo! This is Canada mutha f***a, we aint got no one dollar bills here. Give me a fucking loonie at least”.
Bottom line is I took a shit in the back seat of the car while I parked it and I never saw the nigga again. But I heard he was sitting real close with one of the homies. The dime piece was apparently his sister.

Not sure if this story is true or not (I’m calling shenanigans, personally), but I do know one thing, this guy Babel could stand to do a stint in Grammar Prison (© Adam)